READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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