I wish I could teleport
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
