YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
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I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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