Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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