3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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