Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
