You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have demons in me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Still dying that you shit outside
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
