3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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