sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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