have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
