I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
