if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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