I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
