So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
