i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
