Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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