Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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