Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
