U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
