I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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