I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
