Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
