Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
