Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
