i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
