stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
