2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
