youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize