there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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