I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
