My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
