I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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