Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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