You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
3 2 1 whiskey
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize