My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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