my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize