Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
