after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
