If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
