4 words: hood of his car
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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