Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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