my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
