How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
