i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
