conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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