Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
