you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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