when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
