my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize