I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize