Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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