Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
