I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
