My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
