he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize