Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
