remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
