your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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