And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize