What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
